Ma’am, it’s time you realized your little girl is a liar

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A 30-year-old woman on the Spanish island of Tenerife faked her own kidnapping to get her mother to pay a $50,000 “ransom” and sent her a video of fake blood on her face and a man standing behind her and held a knife out to her throat. She and her co-conspirators were arrested at a slot machine casino. Investigators found that the mother had already made payments totaling $45,000 three times before when she received threatening letters threatening her daughter’s life.

A tie, obviously: Just as officials cut a tie to open a bridge in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, the bridge collapsed.

IT’S A MIRACLE! I CAN GO!: A drug sniffer dog led police to 30 pounds of cocaine stuffed into the leather upholstery of a motorized wheelchair at Malpensa Airport in Milan, Italy, which belonged to a passenger on a flight out of the Dominican Republic. To make matters worse, the wheelchair-bound drug smuggler got up immediately.

THE REST OF YOU OUT!: Police checked the IDs of 143 people at the City Bar in downtown Madison, Wisc. Only six were of legal age.

I HATE TO SAY, I TOLD YOU: While legislators in Liechtenstein were debating the pros and cons of earthquake insurance, the tiny Alpine principality was hit by two earthquakes. The earthquakes happened shortly after one of the officials warned that there was a very high probability that all residents could be affected by an earthquake.

NOT EXACTLY A DEEP THINKER: A fast-food worker, anxious to have a slow night at work, placed a makeshift contraption on the railroad tracks near his workplace in Tilden Township, Pennsylvania that would prevent the Gates fall down when a train approached, possibly causing an accident. This fool apparently thought that “might block traffic somehow, preventing people from getting to Wendy’s.”

IN EARNEST? I’M ALSO A COP: A man posing as a police officer activated red and blue lights from a bar in his windshield and stopped another driver in Brighton, Colorado. The man, wearing a security shirt and holding a silver badge, soon found out that the guy he stopped was an off-duty deputy at the Adams County Sheriff’s Office.

TELL MY WIFE I’M A BIT LATE!: A man who climbed into a hydrogen balloon to harvest pine nuts from a tree in a forest park in northeast China’s Heilongjiang Province spent two days aloft after becoming detached and flew away, about 200 miles to the northeast in the Fangzheng region, near the border with Russia.

FIRST ADMIT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM: A young brown bear has been rescued by wildlife officials in Turkey’s Duzce province after it was found disoriented and intoxicated after consuming a large quantity of hallucinogenic honey made from the nectar of a native species of rhododendron became. It’s known as “crazy honey” because it contains a powerful neurotoxin.

THINKING OF OPENING AN AUTO PARTS STORE OFFICER: A man has been arrested after police found more than 1,200 stolen catalytic converters at his storage unit in Phoenix. Street value has been estimated at nearly $200,000.

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